Want a nicer looking lawn, but no time to mow?

Then you need one of these remarkable new all-in-one yard machines: the self-propelled eleven-year-old boy! He gets great mileage when filled up with high-test chocolate chip pancakes. Here he is seen with the optional push mower attachment. He can also be equipped with a trowel for scooping up doggy doo, and in winter can be used with the snow shovel attachment. His opposable thumbs make him ideal for picking up sticks and pulling weeds. Very low maintenance, just hose him off after use and store him in a spare bedroom until it's time for the next job. Also available in the nine-year-old boy model for smaller jobs!